Letters to the NSA and Those Above and Beyond (If You're Watching You Should Know) / by Joe Nicholas


I wanna fly. I wanna be a lollypop
on the dragon tongue and goddamnit
I wanna fly. I wanna kiss wing and wing to kiss me. I want my cheek
pulled back into parachute. I wanna smile down on cloud and goddamnit
god fucking damnit I wanna fly. I wanna spoon that sky and bend it. I wanna tap dance 
where the black and blue mingle. I wanna caw
cawcaw scree tweet
twoot twoot twoooeeeet
. I wanna build my nest hovering. I wanna fly.
I wanna wrangle that sun. I wanna bathe in that blackness.
I wanna swallow the earth and shit it. I wanna watch that shit crumble.
I want air body. Aether body. No body and goddamnit I want that no body to fly. 
I want that no body to sing wind. I want that no body to be all body and I want that all body to
I want that all body to dance empty. I want that all body to sweat
starry sweat and I want that sweat to fly. I want to stain your
lash and blur your eye. I want you to blink
and in that blink I'm flying and when you open again I'm right there
but goddamnit I was flying. Let me fly. Let me fucking fly. I wanna fly. 
I wanna lay egg in nova and watch it burn. I wanna fly.
I wanna fucking fly. Stop watching goddamnit.
I wanna fly.





You should know that I know that you know that I think there's no such thing 
as selflessness in action. I sneak feathers from the pillows too.
And this is not only me although I remember times
I've wished it was. I remember times
so calm and so bright and I remember times on fire and sometimes I remember no time. 
I remember no time and it's a marble
hanging still in/as space. 

I wish I could unpack that for you. I wish each of my words 
were a thousand a balloons. I want you to see me
right now and later I won't. 

That's the thing you seem to forget.





Hello darling. Are you watching me
dangle the yarn?
I'm eating sausage. Does that interest you? I know
it should and I know other things should too.

In this poem it's always February but you already
figured that out. 

I want to surprise you 

but I want you to surprise me too.





I know about JSOC. Did you know
I ate rice and  beans today. I bet you 
didn't  until I told you. You see? I can relinquish 
control when I want to. 

I am willing to let you in.





Is your boss there? Is your boss's boss there? 
Are you the Main Boss? Ultraboss? Alpha and Omega boss? The hidden
crystal mimic? I want you to know that I could be you. Nationalism
is another name for sucking the teat: I love my country
for what it gives! No other
give me so much!





Joe Nicholas is an experimenter, experiencer, and editor of The Screaming Sheep. His work can be found or is forthcoming in BOAAT, Chiron Review, Found Poetry Review, Fruita Pulp, Weave, and other wonderful magazines. He received his degree in Applied Psychology from Champlain College. He can be found at 8rainCh1ld.tk and on Facebook. These pieces are part of a larger manuscript entitled Letters to the NSA and Those Above and Beyond (If You're Watching You Should Know).