two wars / by Gence Barbar


In the spirit of the centenary, I have created Somme! to honour the memory of the event. In its last issue, Frisson declared this noble endeavour to be void, detecting, presumably with one single giant nostril (septum eroded by good times), a resemblance to Pepe Ricard's Acquiesce, which is toilet water in its most literal sense. Blood sweat and tears went into Somme! That fragrance is my masterpiece.



Son, I know what it's like to sit downstairs below ground level waiting for a drink while all your friends go out to smoke. I know what that feels like when you have only begun to feel natural about saying you used to smoke, when, after a few pints, you can feel the tempting absence of nicotine & tar & I really don't know what – but I know it feels nice – coursing round your body. But, listen, son, in history lessons, they used to teach us about how at the Munich Conference Adolf Hitler consciously played on Neville Chamberlain's smoking habit. He, Chamberlain, was then, just before the war, the Prime Minister of Great Britain. Hitler was vegetarian, and he thought that smoking was dirty and weak. Hitler was dirty and weak. But Neville Chamberlain failed to get us out of the war, so – fighting the temptation –– it's something I would ask you to consider.


Gence Barbar is a writer and filmmaker, who is, at this moment, moving around Germany, working towards a film about a castle ruin.