teach me how to love what doesn't look the
other way
to be honest i find anonymous sex
as depressing as anybody
so let's take a moment to contemplate w/o flinching
the vast indigo of my heartbreak
instead
near the end of college i remember us being higher than the
moon & dancing in half-forgotten drag costumes in a circle in
the grass like clones just glimpsing the fact that they'd spent the
whole of their lives being harvested & that they’d probably
never know to what end &
i have never felt so fucked
years later
in the south of france
i’d remember that in some places
people have names for things like the wind
well, fuck that thing where u thought u were praying
but it turns all u were doing was complaining
yes & hello good morning stranger
i'm in love w/ the way that u've rolled up yr jeans
roll up to the club like whaddup my life is
vapid & i have crippling social anxiety
growing up abroad kids gave me a lotta flack for
the peanut butter & jelly sandwiches
i would bring in my lunchbox to school
later i picked up smoking
today i am drinking yesterday’s coffee
i was microwaving it before but now i have stopped bothering
it is midwinter & i am staring out the window
because of course i am
i will probably continue to experience occasional
spasms of unrequited emotion yr way
for a while
no matter how many invitations
to play candy crush
yr mom sends
Editor's Note: These poems are taken from Oscar d'Artois's Teen Surf Goth, forthcoming from Metatron, which you can purchase here. There will be a book launch for Teen Surf Goth this Saturday in Brooklyn, NY.
Oscar d'Artois was born in 1989 in Paris, France. He currently lives in Berlin, Germany. You can find him online at oscardartois.wtf.