Potluck

 

T H I S    W E E K

WATERSLIDES IN AUXILIARY HOSPITAL WASHROOM by Daniel Thompson

 

TWO: Short Works by Oliver Zarandi


Abba
 

What impressed her most about Abba was their hair and bone structure. She liked the male members of the band especially. Although Bjorn and Benny looked similar, they did, in fact, have subtle differences. She liked Bjorn’s ape-like mouth, but disliked the way his beard and lips were so separate. His lips seemed plastered on, as if he’d lost them in an accident. Benny’s head was fatter and she admired his ‘confident’ hair. She believed his cranium was extremely large, similar to that of the elephant man. At the museum, she was pleased to find a piano that was directly linked to Bjorn’s piano; every time he decided to play in the privacy of his own house, it would play out in the museum in real time. She wondered if there was a Bjorn penis and if, when he decided he wanted sex, it would fuck her in real time too. As she moved further into the museum, she found a room of costumes that the men had worn. She felt like climbing into one of the costumes and cocooning herself there, warm and distant from reality.

 

 

 

Things
 

A great man began to drop things. He used to be able to hold the crockery, his colleagues said. They still revered him and respected him. He has really nice hair, said one student. It’s grey but not stringy. Other people on the campus congratulated him on his kind nature and ability to pick up shy woodland creatures. His thinking, his reasoning, it’s unparalleled. But then, one day in the staff room, he began to drop everyday objects. His hands would go stiff, fingers stretched out and he would drop cups, plates, forks and knives. He would move to the other side of the room and stay in a corner. The younger staff members began to make a note of all the things he dropped: teapot, duck figurine, satchel, watch, pen, pencil, protractor, pile of books, tumbler, chair, duck figurine, wig.