I told my grandfather I wasn’t a conspiracy theorist,
I just have trust issues.
He told me I should put down the drugs,
and find myself a girlfriend.
I told my girlfriend it’s not that I’m impotent,
I’m just questioning my purpose.
She told me I should stop drinking whiskey,
and go see a shrink.
I told my shrink I’m not Dionysian,
I’m just having an identity crisis.
He mentioned something about the Oedipus complex,
and charged me two hundred dollars.
I told this story to my father
while we were having lunch yesterday.
And I could tell he was wondering
what exactly he’s been paying for.
Connor Hubeny is a graduating senior at Marymount Manhattan College where he studies Communication Arts. He is an editor of his school's literary magazine, The Marymount Review, and a self-described cinephile.