The Divulgences of a University Student by Connor Hubeny

I told my grandfather I wasn’t a conspiracy theorist,

I just have trust issues.

He told me I should put down the drugs,

and find myself a girlfriend.


I told my girlfriend it’s not that I’m impotent,

I’m just questioning my purpose.

She told me I should stop drinking whiskey,

and go see a shrink.


I told my shrink I’m not Dionysian,

I’m just having an identity crisis.

He mentioned something about the Oedipus complex,

and charged me two hundred dollars.


I told this story to my father

while we were having lunch yesterday.

And I could tell he was wondering

what exactly he’s been paying for.


Connor Hubeny is a graduating senior at Marymount Manhattan College where he studies Communication Arts. He is an editor of his school's literary magazine, The Marymount Review, and a self-described cinephile.