Day 5 / by Amanda Dissinger


woke up and started doing pirouettes in my childhood bedroom
i want to be a ballerina
i want to be a pilgrim in the Thanksgiving play
i want the length of my legs to be long and i want my body to be the right shape
i want to be your love,
i want you to notice the forever in my eyes that has been there forever
i want you to see my childhood dance photos
i want to spin into oblivion

we will be by the water when i will tell you i have loved you quietly for months
we will be at the ballet
i will teach you how to arabesque, how to plié, how to suspend in the air
and i am low maintenance, i am only low, my beauty is unseen
and i want your accompaniment, i want your perspective
i cannot take a leap without thinking of you

i will arrive at your show wearing red lipstick and the silk dress that i can take off as easily as i put on
and i will beg you silently to love me, to hear unthinkable declarations coming out of your mouth
i will have visions of the playground love
and of the way my feet arch and twirl me around

and i will meet you anywhere you like,
i will go back in time
we can dance together in my old bedroom,
i can show you my high school, the hallways i used to dream in
and i will want to pirouette with you
i will be my old self
straight into your arms




This poem is from Amanda Dissinger's first collection of poetry, 'This is How I Will Tell You I Love You' out now via Bottlecap Press (link here: The book release party will be taking place at Brooklyn's Baby's All Right, Saturday June 6th at 1pm with poetry readings (including Potluck contributor Eric Silver) and musical performances. More info is here: